life, apparently

I didn't change my name when I got married.

This is a big deal with my extended family and The Husband's family. My family (parents and sibling excluded) just don't understand. They ask "Why didn't you change your name?" in the same tone that one might ask "Why did you run over your elderly neighbor with a lawn mower?" My reply "Why did you change your name? You are still the same person, right?" Even now, 4 years after we've been married they occasionally ask"Have you changed your name yet?" The Husband's family sort of ignored my decision. (Note, it was announced at my bridal shower, our wedding reception, and I use my name in all correspondence, our checks and address labels have my name and his name, etc). We get mail addressed to Mr & Mrs TheHusband. Even mail just for me (e.g., birthday card) is addressed to Mrs TheHusband. It drives me crazy. I honestly think that some of his relatives think it is against the law not to change your name. So I must have changed my name but call myself by my old name as a sort of nickname.

I kept my name because 1) I don't understand why women change their name. I just don't. It is very strange to me. What if all of a sudden people started calling me "Alice" instead of my name. That would be strange, right? I just got married. I didn't change gender or go into witness protection so why do I need a new name? 2) I like my name. It fits.

But now that I've seen the degree to which people just assume a woman MUST change her name - I'm opposed to name changing all together. Though apparently, I'm not opposed to changing my kid's name.