life, apparently

I just gave a great talk to a great audience and there is nothing better!*

I was composed and clear, animated, and a touch funny. The audience asked all the right questions at all the right times and a few hard questions. I love hard questions - not mean questions but hard questions - I like being forced to think during a talk rather than just perform.

The first talk I ever gave was a utter failure. Actually, the talk itself was ok, maybe even approaching good. But before the official talk I scheduled a practice talk during lab meeting. I made nice slides and have everything in perfect order. When I stood up to give my practice talk, I completely fell apart. I tried to talk but I couldn’t. I literally froze. Then I laughed and tried to talk again but I just kept saying “uh, ... so, ... uh, ...so”

BestAdvisorEver stopped me and said we’d work on it later. Then that weekend (it was a Sunday evening and I remember thinking how generous BAE was to spend all Sunday evening working with me on this) we met and he told me a story about a very famous academic guy who gives wonderful talks.** The little secret is that VFAG is performing. He writes down every word that he intends to say, repeatedly edits it until it is just right, and then memorizes it word for word. Of course, VFAG realizes that giving a talk is a performance, the content of what you say is often just as important as how you say it (even academic talks). The key is that it doesn’t sound as if his talk is memorized (at all).

BAE suggested I flip through each slide and write down exactly what I would say for each slide. He then edited my typed out words. I then translated his editing into words I’d be comfortable saying. And I memorized.

I used this technique for many years and I still use it when I feel anxious about an upcoming talk. I used it for my job talk last year.

Somehow I’ve gained a bucket full of calmness and confidence in the past few years. I’ve finally reached that stage where I believe that I know more about the topic I’m presenting than anyone in the audience does. Recently I’ve been giving good talks (of course, I’m talking about MyVeryFavoriteManuscript so that helps) and I’m just so pleased with myself. Speaking is definitely one of those areas where I can sit back and appreciate just how far I’ve come. Today was a good day.

*well, ok I can think of a few things but they either involve food or sex

**was this a true story - I don’t know but I do know that he named an actual person. VFAG is chair of a dept to which I am applying - maybe I’ll get the chance to ask him.

Funny story for those of you who’ve come this far - about a month ago we bought temporary tattoos for TheKid. I put a ring of spiders around my ankle. Then this morning, I put on capri-like pants and saw my tattoo. I could not remove it - I tried putting on lotion, oil, vasoline, and nothing worked. I did manage to run off parts but that only make it worse. So, I gave a great talk with a half-removed spider tattoo clearly visible on my ankle.