Thursday, February 08, 2007
Why?
Why? That is the question - how is it possible to have so many interviews and no offers? What did I do wrong? That is a tough question and I've been thinking about it endlessly. (I guess that probably goes without saying.) I think the problem is that I had too many interviews. I know this may sound crazy. I know that if I were reading and I had no interviews or 2 interviews (which seems to the average in my field as far as I can tell) then I'd probably be thinking "I'd like to break apparently's neck, too many interviews, come on!" I get that. So if that is you then I apologize in advance, but let me explain.
Also let me tell you that I'm not in a field where there are no jobs (again this may be obvious) and it is commonplace to adjunct or hold on for a few years until a job comes along (I'm not in the humanities). I never considered that I might not get a job. I mean, I do tend to be a bit of a worrier so I hypothetically worried about it, but not really.
Ok now back to the issue: I had too many interviews. First let's consider the deciders. Why should they care how many interviews I have and why oh why do they ask? Well, I don't know why they ask but they do. Usually I say that I've had a few others. Then sometimes they push and push and ask where and how many, etc. I suppose I could lie, but I'm not a liar. Most often, though, they found out during the invite. Either I didn't return their initial email for a day or two because I was out of town at another interview, or setting up a time to visit was nearly impossible (because everyone wants to schedule at the same exact time). Now why do they care? Well again I've never been on that side of the fence, so I don't know but I do know that a few people explicitly said that part of the reason they didn't hire me is that they didn't think I'd accept the job. What? Well some of them just have an inferiority complex - I know that a few schools called mutual friends or acquaintances and asked if I'd really take a job there. I'm guessing that some people might look at my training (grad school and post doc where at the premier departments in my field), people thought I'd want to have a high power job at a prestigious place. Now maybe I would - I don't actually know. What is most important to me is the atmosphere in the dept, not its ranking or perceived ranking, so if the atmosphere is great then I'd be happy at a top school but if it is not so good then I would not be happy at a top school. But the fact is that it doesn't actually matter where I think I might want a job because that is not how the market works. I don't get to select where I have a job. I apply to jobs that advertise and they choose me (or not, apparently). The point here is that no only do we as academics suffer from imposter syndrome, but departments at large also do -- well she'll never accept a job here, we aren't good enough, certainly she'll have better offers. And that is beyond frustrating.
Now consider me - what impact did having so many interviews have on my game? Well, I was definitely, unquestionably confident. Confidence can be dangerous because it allows us to ask questions we might not otherwise ask ("What is the atmosphere for women and especially women with children?"), make evaluative comments ("Your teaching load is 2-2 with no TA support, really? Wow, that is very high for a department producing such a high quantity and quality of research" - I might point out that this is in fact the truth but maybe it sounds insulting or negative?) rather than just smiling and saying "oh that sounds great" I suppose confidence is intimidating? I don't know. Having so many job talks also completely exhausted me. I mean completely. So maybe I looked tired (interpreted as bored? unpleasant? stupid? unengaged?)? I didn't spy on everyone in the department and pretend that I was a huge fan of their research and couldn't wait to collaborate with them. I know some people do that and others who don't -- maybe I would have if I wasn't so busy traveling and interviewing.
Maybe people were really expecting me to be some kind of genius and when it turned out that I was actually just average, they were disappointed. That actually sounds a bit crazy now that I wrote it down, so I don't know. I can't imagine people thinking I'm a genius but then again I can't imagine people thinking I wouldn't accept a position in what is a good department.
Maybe I just have fierce competition - this is true actually but I can't believe I'm at the bottom of the barrel. I know that a few departments tried to get a second line from the dean to hire me (one dept is allegedly still trying). Another one or two sent a very detailed and heartfelt "thank you" stating that the vote was "excruciatingly close." I know that my area of research is not sexy at the moment (it was sexy in the 1960s and I'm sure it will be again but not now) but they knew that when they invited me for an interview, right?
Oh and I'm not a showgirl. I tend to be rather honest (some might say that is an understatement). On the other hand, what you see is what you get. I don't pretend I want to help people (I do basic research and I don't apologize for that). I don't pretend that I love everyone and everything - I'm just realistic. It is not ok that your department is spread across 3 buildings. That is less than optimal and I want to know what you plan to do about it. But I haven't punched anyone or went on a tirade or anything worthy of story-telling. My job talk is very clear, I get lots of intelligent questions from the entire spectrum of the audience (students, people outside my area, people in my area). So how on earth is it possible that I may not have a job next year -- I just don't know.
PS, I realize I'm rambling and ranting and I apologize, I just need to get these thoughts out of my head and onto (virtual) paper.
Also let me tell you that I'm not in a field where there are no jobs (again this may be obvious) and it is commonplace to adjunct or hold on for a few years until a job comes along (I'm not in the humanities). I never considered that I might not get a job. I mean, I do tend to be a bit of a worrier so I hypothetically worried about it, but not really.
Ok now back to the issue: I had too many interviews. First let's consider the deciders. Why should they care how many interviews I have and why oh why do they ask? Well, I don't know why they ask but they do. Usually I say that I've had a few others. Then sometimes they push and push and ask where and how many, etc. I suppose I could lie, but I'm not a liar. Most often, though, they found out during the invite. Either I didn't return their initial email for a day or two because I was out of town at another interview, or setting up a time to visit was nearly impossible (because everyone wants to schedule at the same exact time). Now why do they care? Well again I've never been on that side of the fence, so I don't know but I do know that a few people explicitly said that part of the reason they didn't hire me is that they didn't think I'd accept the job. What? Well some of them just have an inferiority complex - I know that a few schools called mutual friends or acquaintances and asked if I'd really take a job there. I'm guessing that some people might look at my training (grad school and post doc where at the premier departments in my field), people thought I'd want to have a high power job at a prestigious place. Now maybe I would - I don't actually know. What is most important to me is the atmosphere in the dept, not its ranking or perceived ranking, so if the atmosphere is great then I'd be happy at a top school but if it is not so good then I would not be happy at a top school. But the fact is that it doesn't actually matter where I think I might want a job because that is not how the market works. I don't get to select where I have a job. I apply to jobs that advertise and they choose me (or not, apparently). The point here is that no only do we as academics suffer from imposter syndrome, but departments at large also do -- well she'll never accept a job here, we aren't good enough, certainly she'll have better offers. And that is beyond frustrating.
Now consider me - what impact did having so many interviews have on my game? Well, I was definitely, unquestionably confident. Confidence can be dangerous because it allows us to ask questions we might not otherwise ask ("What is the atmosphere for women and especially women with children?"), make evaluative comments ("Your teaching load is 2-2 with no TA support, really? Wow, that is very high for a department producing such a high quantity and quality of research" - I might point out that this is in fact the truth but maybe it sounds insulting or negative?) rather than just smiling and saying "oh that sounds great" I suppose confidence is intimidating? I don't know. Having so many job talks also completely exhausted me. I mean completely. So maybe I looked tired (interpreted as bored? unpleasant? stupid? unengaged?)? I didn't spy on everyone in the department and pretend that I was a huge fan of their research and couldn't wait to collaborate with them. I know some people do that and others who don't -- maybe I would have if I wasn't so busy traveling and interviewing.
Maybe people were really expecting me to be some kind of genius and when it turned out that I was actually just average, they were disappointed. That actually sounds a bit crazy now that I wrote it down, so I don't know. I can't imagine people thinking I'm a genius but then again I can't imagine people thinking I wouldn't accept a position in what is a good department.
Maybe I just have fierce competition - this is true actually but I can't believe I'm at the bottom of the barrel. I know that a few departments tried to get a second line from the dean to hire me (one dept is allegedly still trying). Another one or two sent a very detailed and heartfelt "thank you" stating that the vote was "excruciatingly close." I know that my area of research is not sexy at the moment (it was sexy in the 1960s and I'm sure it will be again but not now) but they knew that when they invited me for an interview, right?
Oh and I'm not a showgirl. I tend to be rather honest (some might say that is an understatement). On the other hand, what you see is what you get. I don't pretend I want to help people (I do basic research and I don't apologize for that). I don't pretend that I love everyone and everything - I'm just realistic. It is not ok that your department is spread across 3 buildings. That is less than optimal and I want to know what you plan to do about it. But I haven't punched anyone or went on a tirade or anything worthy of story-telling. My job talk is very clear, I get lots of intelligent questions from the entire spectrum of the audience (students, people outside my area, people in my area). So how on earth is it possible that I may not have a job next year -- I just don't know.
PS, I realize I'm rambling and ranting and I apologize, I just need to get these thoughts out of my head and onto (virtual) paper.
Comments:
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i'm sorry apparently...and i think that is stupid to not offer the job to the person you want because you *think* they might not take it.
# posted by 
: 3:17 PM
: 3:17 PM
Reality is, you've done your job. Now it's in their hands. Perhaps you will get an offer that you will be happy with. Otherwise, if you're committed to this path, it might serve you to figure out where most you'd like to be, in terms of what sort of school, what sort of department, what sort of work and workload.
It does sound exhausting to have so many interviews. I think you may have hit it on the head that you had too many. But if you've been invited to so many this year, you'll probably have your pick in another season. The more you know about what you want, the better you'll be prepared to choose which ones to apply to, which ones to accept an interview at, and which offer to accept. They will come.
It does sound exhausting to have so many interviews. I think you may have hit it on the head that you had too many. But if you've been invited to so many this year, you'll probably have your pick in another season. The more you know about what you want, the better you'll be prepared to choose which ones to apply to, which ones to accept an interview at, and which offer to accept. They will come.
Wow. I hate that you'd be punished for being good at what you do, for interviewing at many places and being brave enough to honestly interact with people in those departments. I really am sorry that you had to go through this analysis at all and I hope you end up being pleasantly surprised by someone yet.
I really am sorry. While I know you'll figure something out, I do wish circumstances were more ideal for you lately (in terms of health and professional).
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I really am sorry. While I know you'll figure something out, I do wish circumstances were more ideal for you lately (in terms of health and professional).
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