Thursday, June 28, 2007
What is your goal?
I'm so annoyed by this that I have to tell you. We close on our house in less than 2 weeks which means that we need to find homeowner's insurance right now. I tried to get a few quotes last night but only one company provides them online (hello - welcome to 2007 insurance companies, get online). I did fill out some forms answering a million silly questions that I don't actually know the answer to (how far from a fire hydrant - no clue) then reportedly I'd receive quotes by email. I also entered all relevant dollar amounts so that (or at least I imagined) the quotes would be for the exact same coverage. First thing this morning, at a bright and early 10:30, an insurance dude called. The conversation follows:
Dan: "hi apparently, I'm "Dan from StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency"
apparently: "hi"
Dan: "Are you moving to our area?"
apparently: "yes"
Dan: "And you are buying a house in our area?"
apparently: "yep"
Dan: "As you may know there are many different options for homeowners insurance and so before I look for a plan for you, I'd like to get an idea of your goals"
apparently: "OK"
long pause because I didn't realize that this was not a statement, but a question
apparently: "can you ask a more specific question"
Dan: "Lets imagine a worst case scenario where the house burns down and damage is so bad that you need to remove anything valuable and tear down the house. Do you rebuild?"
apparently: [imagining a pick your own ending book] I don't know, it depends on a number of things. Does the mortgage co. require that I rebuild?"
Dan: "no"
apparently: "I really don't have an answer for that." [thinking - isn't there a default answer here? - I just woke up I don't want to imagine my house in ashes. What do I care anyway if I rebuild or buy new if the bank doesn't care?]
Dan: "You've bought a house and you are moving to our area?"
apparently: "yep" [thinking - we already covered this moron]
Dan: "When you are calling companies and filling out forms to get a quote - what is your goal? What is your goal in getting a quote for a homeowners insurance?"
apparently: [internal monologue comes out] "dude, this guy is bothering me I can't talk to him" and hangs up
What does this guy what to know? What is my goal? In a 3 minute converstation he asked me what my goal was 3 times. WTF do you think - I'm calling insurance companies to get a quote which means I want to know what your price is, you know, a QUOTE. I put in all the relevant dollar amounts in the forms so that the different compannies would be comparable. There are really only 3 decent companies in the area (in my opinion and according to jdpower, epinions, ambest, etc) and all I want to know is who is cheapest. It is pretty simple. We don't need to discuss my goals. I give you numbers and an address, and in return you give me a price. The end.
So I guess we won't be going with StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency. Let's hope the gas company doesn't ask about my goals when I call them or we might have to live without hot water.
UPDATE: Dan (whose real name it turns out is Eric) sent the following email:
-----------------
From: Eric
To: apparently
Subject: hanging up
(body of email)
very rude. not nice.
RealNameof StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency
contact information
-----------------
The good thing is that I know the real name of SQIA so I can be sure to avoid them. The other good thing is that this is hilarious. TheHusband thinks I should reply. "cell cut off. fuck you." I have a small inclination to call his boss, given that I know their actual name now, and tell them that Eric is incompetent, unprofessional, and they lost a customer. But I won't do either. I'll just laugh and laugh and laugh.
Dan: "hi apparently, I'm "Dan from StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency"
apparently: "hi"
Dan: "Are you moving to our area?"
apparently: "yes"
Dan: "And you are buying a house in our area?"
apparently: "yep"
Dan: "As you may know there are many different options for homeowners insurance and so before I look for a plan for you, I'd like to get an idea of your goals"
apparently: "OK"
long pause because I didn't realize that this was not a statement, but a question
apparently: "can you ask a more specific question"
Dan: "Lets imagine a worst case scenario where the house burns down and damage is so bad that you need to remove anything valuable and tear down the house. Do you rebuild?"
apparently: [imagining a pick your own ending book] I don't know, it depends on a number of things. Does the mortgage co. require that I rebuild?"
Dan: "no"
apparently: "I really don't have an answer for that." [thinking - isn't there a default answer here? - I just woke up I don't want to imagine my house in ashes. What do I care anyway if I rebuild or buy new if the bank doesn't care?]
Dan: "You've bought a house and you are moving to our area?"
apparently: "yep" [thinking - we already covered this moron]
Dan: "When you are calling companies and filling out forms to get a quote - what is your goal? What is your goal in getting a quote for a homeowners insurance?"
apparently: [internal monologue comes out] "dude, this guy is bothering me I can't talk to him" and hangs up
What does this guy what to know? What is my goal? In a 3 minute converstation he asked me what my goal was 3 times. WTF do you think - I'm calling insurance companies to get a quote which means I want to know what your price is, you know, a QUOTE. I put in all the relevant dollar amounts in the forms so that the different compannies would be comparable. There are really only 3 decent companies in the area (in my opinion and according to jdpower, epinions, ambest, etc) and all I want to know is who is cheapest. It is pretty simple. We don't need to discuss my goals. I give you numbers and an address, and in return you give me a price. The end.
So I guess we won't be going with StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency. Let's hope the gas company doesn't ask about my goals when I call them or we might have to live without hot water.
UPDATE: Dan (whose real name it turns out is Eric) sent the following email:
-----------------
From: Eric
To: apparently
Subject: hanging up
(body of email)
very rude. not nice.
RealNameof StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency
contact information
-----------------
The good thing is that I know the real name of SQIA so I can be sure to avoid them. The other good thing is that this is hilarious. TheHusband thinks I should reply. "cell cut off. fuck you." I have a small inclination to call his boss, given that I know their actual name now, and tell them that Eric is incompetent, unprofessional, and they lost a customer. But I won't do either. I'll just laugh and laugh and laugh.
Labels: insurance companies are stupid, moving, whining
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