life, apparently

I started this series a long time ago but (can't think of an excuse, so just but).

I finished grad school with 3 publications. One in top tier for WholeField, one in top tier for Area, and one in IfRejectedFromTopTierInAreaTryHere-ButStillPrettyGoodJournal. I think that is pretty decent, above average I'd guess. Like the good scientist that I am, I tried to find out. There doesn't seem to be any survey on the topic (professional organization only seems to care how much money we make). Anyway.

I applied for 2 jobs that year (in addition to contacting several people about postdoc opportunities). One application was to PlaceThatWillNeverHireMeButI’llApplyEveryYearBecauseILoveThatState. They didn’t reply. (I applied again last year and they didn’t reply) The other application was to EmergingDept. I was invited for a job talk to EmergingDept and it went very well. I had a great time, I really like the vibe. I was totally myself at this interview and it felt good. I decided I could live in the city even if I was a bit frightened. I thought they would h ire me. For sure. They did not. They did like me very much apparently, and tried to get a 2^nd line from the dean but the dean said no (this is all according to the chair who told BestAdvisorEver). Things I learned:

1. When you’ve already told faculty that you applied to few jobs and you have many postdoc offers and they ask what you’ll do if offered this job, DO NOT say “hmmm, I don’t know it would be a tough choice between this job and postdoc with famous guy” That is the wrong answer. The correct answer is, I’ll take this job of course, I’d love this job. This is the best possible job ever.

2. It is not good to sit with strange old chubby guy and have a stare down. Just ask a question, any reasonable question. Options include “So, tell me about the students here” “What is the status of the dept within the college?” “Where do you see the dept in 5-10 years?” “Do faculty often collaborate or does everyone do their own thing?” “Is the new chair supportive of junior faculty?” just say anything, anything at all rather than have a 2 min. stare down.

3. Though 1 and 2 seem obvious, under the stress of endless back to back ridiculous mini interviews and the lack of an opportunity to use the restroom or get a drink of water, I have no ability to think. (And, the guy was just plain weird.)

I have no regrets about this job search. I learned a ton about how the whole process works. I had fun. I had GREAT meals. And the same week I found out that I didn’t get the job, I also found out that I was pregnant. I’ve never been so happy to be rejected!