Thursday, June 28, 2007
My paper shredder works for the state
My paper shredder works for approximately 15-20 minutes then requires a 20 minute break. It is driving me insane.
My mother convinced me at a young age that I absolutely must keep every piece of paper that entered my hand. She has years and years of phone bills, cable bills, etc. She keeps every receipt she has ever received. Honest. Upon receiving a credit card bill, she finds the corresponding receipt for each charge and staples them all to the credit card bill, then files that bill. I think maybe she gets rid of the "paperwork" as she calls it every 20 years. I vaguely remember her telling me recently that she shredded 1983.
I try to keep about a year of paperwork, mostly to keep my mom happy. Turns out this can be useful on occasion, like when my bank starting charging me a $12 monthly fee and told me that this has always been their policy. I looked back through all of my statements and showed them that they were liars.
In preparation for the move, I am purging and shredding and converting all bills to email delivery. I guess I forgot to request a non-union shredder. It is going to take months to shred all this stuff at this rate. Do you think he'll work overtime if I pay double? Has it been 20 minutes yet?
My mother convinced me at a young age that I absolutely must keep every piece of paper that entered my hand. She has years and years of phone bills, cable bills, etc. She keeps every receipt she has ever received. Honest. Upon receiving a credit card bill, she finds the corresponding receipt for each charge and staples them all to the credit card bill, then files that bill. I think maybe she gets rid of the "paperwork" as she calls it every 20 years. I vaguely remember her telling me recently that she shredded 1983.
I try to keep about a year of paperwork, mostly to keep my mom happy. Turns out this can be useful on occasion, like when my bank starting charging me a $12 monthly fee and told me that this has always been their policy. I looked back through all of my statements and showed them that they were liars.
In preparation for the move, I am purging and shredding and converting all bills to email delivery. I guess I forgot to request a non-union shredder. It is going to take months to shred all this stuff at this rate. Do you think he'll work overtime if I pay double? Has it been 20 minutes yet?
Labels: moving
What is your goal?
I'm so annoyed by this that I have to tell you. We close on our house in less than 2 weeks which means that we need to find homeowner's insurance right now. I tried to get a few quotes last night but only one company provides them online (hello - welcome to 2007 insurance companies, get online). I did fill out some forms answering a million silly questions that I don't actually know the answer to (how far from a fire hydrant - no clue) then reportedly I'd receive quotes by email. I also entered all relevant dollar amounts so that (or at least I imagined) the quotes would be for the exact same coverage. First thing this morning, at a bright and early 10:30, an insurance dude called. The conversation follows:
Dan: "hi apparently, I'm "Dan from StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency"
apparently: "hi"
Dan: "Are you moving to our area?"
apparently: "yes"
Dan: "And you are buying a house in our area?"
apparently: "yep"
Dan: "As you may know there are many different options for homeowners insurance and so before I look for a plan for you, I'd like to get an idea of your goals"
apparently: "OK"
long pause because I didn't realize that this was not a statement, but a question
apparently: "can you ask a more specific question"
Dan: "Lets imagine a worst case scenario where the house burns down and damage is so bad that you need to remove anything valuable and tear down the house. Do you rebuild?"
apparently: [imagining a pick your own ending book] I don't know, it depends on a number of things. Does the mortgage co. require that I rebuild?"
Dan: "no"
apparently: "I really don't have an answer for that." [thinking - isn't there a default answer here? - I just woke up I don't want to imagine my house in ashes. What do I care anyway if I rebuild or buy new if the bank doesn't care?]
Dan: "You've bought a house and you are moving to our area?"
apparently: "yep" [thinking - we already covered this moron]
Dan: "When you are calling companies and filling out forms to get a quote - what is your goal? What is your goal in getting a quote for a homeowners insurance?"
apparently: [internal monologue comes out] "dude, this guy is bothering me I can't talk to him" and hangs up
What does this guy what to know? What is my goal? In a 3 minute converstation he asked me what my goal was 3 times. WTF do you think - I'm calling insurance companies to get a quote which means I want to know what your price is, you know, a QUOTE. I put in all the relevant dollar amounts in the forms so that the different compannies would be comparable. There are really only 3 decent companies in the area (in my opinion and according to jdpower, epinions, ambest, etc) and all I want to know is who is cheapest. It is pretty simple. We don't need to discuss my goals. I give you numbers and an address, and in return you give me a price. The end.
So I guess we won't be going with StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency. Let's hope the gas company doesn't ask about my goals when I call them or we might have to live without hot water.
UPDATE: Dan (whose real name it turns out is Eric) sent the following email:
-----------------
From: Eric
To: apparently
Subject: hanging up
(body of email)
very rude. not nice.
RealNameof StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency
contact information
-----------------
The good thing is that I know the real name of SQIA so I can be sure to avoid them. The other good thing is that this is hilarious. TheHusband thinks I should reply. "cell cut off. fuck you." I have a small inclination to call his boss, given that I know their actual name now, and tell them that Eric is incompetent, unprofessional, and they lost a customer. But I won't do either. I'll just laugh and laugh and laugh.
Dan: "hi apparently, I'm "Dan from StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency"
apparently: "hi"
Dan: "Are you moving to our area?"
apparently: "yes"
Dan: "And you are buying a house in our area?"
apparently: "yep"
Dan: "As you may know there are many different options for homeowners insurance and so before I look for a plan for you, I'd like to get an idea of your goals"
apparently: "OK"
long pause because I didn't realize that this was not a statement, but a question
apparently: "can you ask a more specific question"
Dan: "Lets imagine a worst case scenario where the house burns down and damage is so bad that you need to remove anything valuable and tear down the house. Do you rebuild?"
apparently: [imagining a pick your own ending book] I don't know, it depends on a number of things. Does the mortgage co. require that I rebuild?"
Dan: "no"
apparently: "I really don't have an answer for that." [thinking - isn't there a default answer here? - I just woke up I don't want to imagine my house in ashes. What do I care anyway if I rebuild or buy new if the bank doesn't care?]
Dan: "You've bought a house and you are moving to our area?"
apparently: "yep" [thinking - we already covered this moron]
Dan: "When you are calling companies and filling out forms to get a quote - what is your goal? What is your goal in getting a quote for a homeowners insurance?"
apparently: [internal monologue comes out] "dude, this guy is bothering me I can't talk to him" and hangs up
What does this guy what to know? What is my goal? In a 3 minute converstation he asked me what my goal was 3 times. WTF do you think - I'm calling insurance companies to get a quote which means I want to know what your price is, you know, a QUOTE. I put in all the relevant dollar amounts in the forms so that the different compannies would be comparable. There are really only 3 decent companies in the area (in my opinion and according to jdpower, epinions, ambest, etc) and all I want to know is who is cheapest. It is pretty simple. We don't need to discuss my goals. I give you numbers and an address, and in return you give me a price. The end.
So I guess we won't be going with StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency. Let's hope the gas company doesn't ask about my goals when I call them or we might have to live without hot water.
UPDATE: Dan (whose real name it turns out is Eric) sent the following email:
-----------------
From: Eric
To: apparently
Subject: hanging up
(body of email)
very rude. not nice.
RealNameof StupidQuestionInsuranceAgency
contact information
-----------------
The good thing is that I know the real name of SQIA so I can be sure to avoid them. The other good thing is that this is hilarious. TheHusband thinks I should reply. "cell cut off. fuck you." I have a small inclination to call his boss, given that I know their actual name now, and tell them that Eric is incompetent, unprofessional, and they lost a customer. But I won't do either. I'll just laugh and laugh and laugh.
Labels: insurance companies are stupid, moving, whining
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
back and better than ever or at least the same as always
The next time I disappear for months, it is probably because I've been jailed for yelling at, questioning, or otherwise objecting to the conduct of the TSA. I just can't take these ridiculous travel rules anymore, the inconsistent application (and invention) of rules, and the fact that it takes 8 people to watch me walk through a metal detector.
But this absence wasn't due to the TSA, in fact it was just a vacation.
If you define vacation as
But this absence wasn't due to the TSA, in fact it was just a vacation.
If you define vacation as
- attending a conference
- two trips to NewTown one of which involved buying a house
- packing parts of current house because my moving allowance which purportedly covered the entire cost of packing and moving was $1300 less than the actual cost!
- scanning every paper that I own to eliminate dragging 12 boxes of papers to my new digs
- hosting The(pregnant)Sister and TheNephew for a week vacation
- sleeping a.lot.
- trying not to strangle anyone while TheHusband was out of town and TheKid was sick and therefore the most grouchiest grouch in town
- traveling to TheParents for various family functions
- writing a paper
- attending a great wedding, so great that we missed our return flight
- prepping a new class - I have to say even I think this class just might be TheFun and as a student I hated this class. Hated it. I skipped too many classes to count, slept through a number of others, and still pulled out an A. Part of my motivation in making it TheFun was to prevent having any students like myself.
- having a yard sale where we sold one dishwasher for $100 and $400 of crap - seriously people love our junk. I don't know why, it is just your typical junk. When we left GradSchoolTown, we had a yard sale in the parking lot of our apartment complex (classy, I know) and made $500 on crap ($100 on a camera and $100 on a treadmill). I think it is the fun price stickers I make. A few samples "have no clue what this does 25cents", "sometimes work, sometimes doesn't $5", "makes excellent bread, I'm just too lazy to use it $8", "fan works, cover is broke, if you want to fix it, its yours, free"
- donating to Obama
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