life, apparently

(at dinner)

Apparently: What kind of ribs are these?
TheHusband: Spare Ribs
Apparently: What kind of meat is that?
TheHusband: pork
Apparently: What are baby back?
TheKid: {turns around so his back is facing us}
TheHusband: beef
Apparently: {notices TheKid} what's a baby back?
TheKid: right here {points to back}
Apparently: oh, is that your baby back?
TheKid: yah
{hysterical laughter all around}

(title stolen from Phantom because, well becaue there is no other title that one could use)

TheKid is pretty well potty trained during day at home. Naps, overnight, and outings require diapers. We've told him to be sure to tell us if he has to pee or poop even if he is in a diaper. TheHusband is an enforcer and really emphasizes this. I on the other hand don't care. I've not met a 16 year old (without a disability) in a diaper yet so I'm guessing it will all work out.

That's the poopies and now for the revenge.

Yesterday TheKid was "taking a nap" where taking a nap means reading, singing, talking to baby dolls, etc in his bedroom alone. After about an hour or so he yells "all done night night" which is our cue to go get him. Up I go and I see a naked kid, toys and books all over (kinda like this only inside his room). Fine. But then I see the poopy. A poopy diaper (not as bad as your are imagining, just a little) laying on the floor and a bit that has fallen on the floor (and been stepped in) and another bit on the bed. There is clean dipaer laying on the floor. It appears he tried to change his diaper but that didn't work out and so he yelled for us. I of course blame this on the enforcer and ask him to lay off. TheKid and TheHusband take a shower to remove any remaining poopies. I opened a brand new contained of Lysol wipes and cleaned everything in the room, washed the animals baby dolls, and bedding. Threw away a book. Ah, what fun christmas memories these will be.

Today is the last day of work for TheGreatestBabysitterEver (formerly PGAT if you are keeping tabs). And I am seriously sad. As in don't-think-about-it-or-I-might-shed-a-tear sad. Is this normal?

All week I've been telling TheKid that this was TGBE's last week and then she was going to school and he'd be going to school. Aren't you excited? It will be so fun. You'll get to play with kids and with new toys. Every time and I mean every time he says "No School. Home. TGBE." TGBE also tries to give him similar pep talks, You'll get a new teacher, it will be fun to which he replies "No. TGBE I teacher (pointing to her)"

I'm sad to see her go but on the other hand I'm thrilled. She is a young girl from a poor part of town and she wants to be a math teacher (but currently a B-school student, afraid of not making any money as a teacher). I want her to get a degree and do great things. I think she will be fantastic whatever she does.

Best wishes TGBE, we love you.

Please take responsibility (and the big D that comes along with it) and leave me alone.
thanks & happy holidays!
- apparently



I do not accept late assignments (where late means after the office closes the day it is due). Period. This particular assignment was handed out the first day of class and due the last week of class. I begged and pleaded for people to turn it in early. I gave extra credit for handing in a brief sketch of the assignment. L. Student (where L stands for lazy, lying, late, take your pick) placed the assignment in my mailbox at least 2 days late. L. Student only needed a D on this assigment to get a C in the class. Instead, L. Student has a D in the class. L. Student claims to have turned in the assignment on time. I see no possible way that this is true. None. I suggested other possible ways to try to get the points required for a C, L. didn't even attempt. L. did not complete the extra credit earlier in the semester (which would have resulted in a C). Today L. Student states that this is unfair and wants to speak to someone else. Be my guest I say. But what's the point, L.? You messed up. Welcome to real life where your actions (or lack thereof) have consequences. (Oh and in case you are wondering, this assigment is worth roughly 5% of the final grade, it is a small little fun assignment, not a big deal.)

http://slavesofacademe.blogspot.com/2006/12/all-about-academia.html

pretty sums up everything I've been thinking for the past week or so, especially the very last line

The thing about academic life is that it is full of rejection. F.U.L.L. of it. And for the most part, that is ok with me. I don't mind when my papers get rejected. I don't like it, that is for sure. But usually some of the comments are valid and I hit myself on the forehead for not thinking of it myself. And some of the negative comments are things that can be fixed, others are just reviewers being biased or maybe even just plain stupid. I usually get angry for a day or so and then read the reviews again and realize that the vast majority are valid comments devise a plan to deal with them. This may sound crazy but I like the challenge of it (kinda, sorta, sometimes). If I can convince OldFamousDude to accept it, then it must be a really good paper.

Jobs are a whole different ballgame. I hate these rejections. They are so personal. (I know I know, you shouldn't take it personally. But seriously how can I not?) I have friends on search committees, I know that the chosen one was chosen sometimes based on completely random and/or ridiculous reasoning.* The best woman does not necessarily win.

Maybe (ok, definitely) I've been in a state of denial about the probability of me getting a job but then again I don't know anyone without a job (maybe that is because they don't attend academic conferences). Reality bites.

*For example, we don't want to hire a person who studies X (wtf did you interview me then you bastards?), your research area is too similar to a person in the dept (repeat question above), we think we have a better chance of getting person Y (is that a good way to make a business decision - let's go for the person who will say "yes" not the best candidate?), you weren't nice enough to me (2 days of 12 hour niceness is impossible, but I bet that I was honest), you didn't think enough about my area of research (that is why I study in MY area of research - I like it better than yours and I'm sure you feel the same).

I have a lot I'd like to tell you. But I can't. Interviews 2 & 3 are done. I was so hopeful about #2 but I just don't think it is right for me which is too bad because I'd love love love to live there. #3 on the other hand was ridiculously impressive excpet something, not job related. Cryptic, I know.

The academic life (whatever that means) really toys with your self identity. I'm still struggling to allow myself to 1. not be defined by my job but 2. not let long held visions of where and how I'd live define my potential jobs.

Oh, and I now have one more interview and one more phone interview. In case you are keeping count, I correctly guessed 3 of those 5.

Sorry if none of this makes sense. I need more sleep.

TheKid started gymnastics today. They want to promote him to the next level. Apparently he has remarkable upper body strength and tumbling ability. FriendWithKids was a gymnast and her son is in gymnastics. I sort of thought it was funny when she told me. I thought maybe she planned on training him for the olympics or something. Then I realized that going to gymnastics was probably more fun and less work than running around the baseball field at the local park in 30 degree weather or running around the mall, both of which are our current coping mechanims to get TheKid a bit tired. He has So.Much.Energy. So we enrolled him and apparently he is a natural. The next level is for older kids (but the teacher thinks he'll be great if he can manage to pay attention to a bit of instruction) and is only offered during the day. I'm thinking maybe we'll do it. I should be all done with this job interview business after Jan and hopefully I'll have a job all set up and I can sleep for the entire spring semester. Except for the one day he goes to class, then I can pretend to be a stay at home mom and bring TheKid to the gym. The funniest part of this story and if you knew me, you'd really appreciate the humor, is that I have zero athletic ability. Zero. The fact that my kid is obsessed with sports, can throw a ball farther and faster than I can, and is a natural gymnast is almost hysterically funny.

I talk really really really fast

The chair's secretary has a stripper name, I almost laughed out loud (seriously, I might have laughed but pretended it was for a different reason).

The Kid wears underwear. I was only gone 2.5 days and he now wears underwear during the day with the Best Babysitter EVER.

I nearly used the barf bag on my flight. We had to fly through some rough weather from the big storm and it was pretty awful. So awful that I talked to my neighbor, "so, where are you from?" Luckily he likes to talk. Alot. I don't talk to people on planes. In fact, I rarely talk to strangers under any circumstances. At one point I started sweating and getting really flush and I visually located the bag just in case. I even ordered a ginger ale to drink. I hate ginger ale.

I thought this dept was a poor fit on paper, but I was w.r.o.n.g. I'm actually very impressed.

I got another interview while I was at this one. That makes 5 (2 of them I guessed, 1 of them is DreamJob) so I guess there is nothing wrong in the universe after all.

I've had a throbbing headache for about 2 weeks and my suitcase hasn't been empty since the week before Thanksgiving. I'm a little tired.

There has been a revolution in hotel supplied toiletries. For a very long time now, it has been extremely rare to find conditioner in a hotel. Almost universally, its been shampoo plus conditioner which sucks. Every hotel I've been to this year has supplied conditioner.

Update: I'm currently at interview #2 location.
I just found out that TheKid wore underwear for 4 hours today with TheHusband

It's dark here and its only 4:30, yuck.

If it comes down to which location had the hotel with the best hand soap - this place will almost surely win.

Time to research the dept. Hope to update later this week.