life, apparently

... that's what its all about and that's what I was doing at 8:06 this morning! (ahh, life with a toddler) What were you doing?

Cooking is theraputic for me (brought to you by TheHusband)

Today was my first class. I am ridiculously impressed with my students. I’m in a 150 person auditorium with stadium seating, so I was a bit intimidated at first. But the students were amazing – everyone participated (the back-rowers, the athletes, everyone!) They were active and engaged. They laughed at me. They smiled and nodded. The asked questions. They answered questions. This whole "active learning really works, apparently. I love them (for now). Remind me in 3 weeks after the first exam, will ya?

Last Friday we went out for Mexican (it was crappy, this city has NO decent Mexican restaraunts, seriously, we've tried them all, I'm endlessly disappointed by this) The Husband backs up into a spot and a college girl says out her car window "you are a parallel parking Master" This, apparently, is the greatest compliment he has ever received because he keeps talking about it. I, on the other hand, am a parallel parking failure. I usually just drive around until I find a spot I can pull into or one that has enough space for a station wagon pulling a trailor. I've circled for 30 mins before - I've even given up and gone home.

The return of 100 Facts in 100 (plus or minus 30) Days. I started Jun 5, so I’m not out of the running for 100 days but I’m pretty sure that is not going to happen. I’m no quitter, though, and I will give you 100 facts (whether you like it or not!)

46. I have terrible grammar and I cannot properly use commas (or other punctuation in the comma family) BestAdvisorEver is a big fan of the colon and semi-colon. He would insert them into our papers and I would delete them or sometimes replace them with commas. Once, he called me up and asked if my computer had a virus that replaced colons and semi-colons with commas (it took a while to figure out if he was serious or trying to hint that I should stop – the lab collectively agreed it was the latter) I should probably just buy a book or something and figure it out. Instead I either avoid them or tell myself that I’m just doing my part to make sure the journal production offices hire more English majors (you are welcome)

You don't pay graduate students "just to go to school." So of them receive just barely enough money to pay the rent and buy food because once they jump through enough hoops without pissing off the wrong people and receive a Ph.D. they will still make less than you (and you probably barely got a 3.0 average in your undergrad business courses) If no one paid for them just to go to school, then 1) there would be many fewer professors to begin with and the ones who stuck it out and now have $200,000 in student loan debts would be even more bitter than they are now 2) there would be no one to grade 3) there would be no grant money and then you'd be out of a job. So mind your own business (literally and figuratively) and shut up.

thanks,
apparently


[ I overheard our BM (and I now notice just what an appropriate abbreviation that is) complaining about grad students and had to interupt when I heard this because I actually needed her to do some work. Anyway, I am particularly annoyed with her right now because I am pretty sure she is going to try to f* up my pay. I agreed to teach for a fixed amount of money in addition to my regular post doc pay. I am teaching for a different department* and BM wants to recoup some of my pay from the other department. I said "all I know is that my agreement with advisor is that my salary from him does not change and I'll receive additional money for teaching" She said "well, I'll talk to advisor and other dept BM about it then"]

*My post doc advisor was in a dept and director of a separate but relatd program - this has created ridiculous and very petty problems for me to deal with. I told off the chair of other dept two weeks ago because they wouldn't give me an office (and yes I did get an office). Guess I won't be getting a job here at Isolation U.

To Whom It May Concern,

After much contemplating, we have decided to withdraw our son, TheKid, from the UrbanMythDayCare. Given activity during the past week, it is not in his best interest to continue in this program under the leadership of CrappyDirector. …[details]… Following our most recent conversation with CrappyDirector, it is obvious that there is no long term plan to successfully transition TheKid. In short, we do not trust that this director operates in a manner that considers our child’s well being.

...[details] we are well aware of the demonstrated importance of successful transitioning and the potential devastating (and long lasting) effects of a failed or difficult transition. In fact, scientific research has clearly demonstrated …[details]… For example, [quotes from manuals]. We did not see any of this here.

The foundation of the UrbanMythDayCare program has declined over the past year and is no longer the elite daycare it was once believed to be. …[it was a hard decision, blah blah]…

Sincerely,

TheHusband
apparently, Ph.D.

[note: parts of this letter have disappeared]

The plan still remains (PGAT until Jan, then NeighborsDayCare) PGAT came over Wed, Thur, and Fri. She is pretty good (as reflected in her pseudonym) The Kid cried like a maniac when I left Wed and Thur. Friday, he said “bye bye mama before I even left.” Nice. We bought $60 worth of arts and crafts stuff for them to have art class every day. Looks like fun to me. The only thing we forgot was googly eyes. What we love most is that PGAT is so tidy. We came home early all week (mostly during nap time) and the whole house was clean, his books were neatly stacked, the blanket was folded at the foot of the bed. Just cute & clean. On Thursday we turned in a letter to day care telling them we quit. Ironically, the day before the director had called us to say that a spot opened up in a room with many of The Kid’s classmates. (Not in Room F if you are wondering, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, we were not changing our minds.) There are two bad things about having someone here. The most important, by far, is that I can no longer work at home. This really sucks. The second is that they use so much stuff – food, milk, paper towels. It is really amazing. I expected this but I guess, but I didn’t quite expect it to be so obvious. Oh well.

TheHusband is out of town and TheKid is a bit grouchy (he's got a lingering cold or some kind of funk) So, I popped some popcorn (at 10:30am!) and put on The Music Man. He ate 3 (kid size) bowls of popcorn while quietly watching the movie for 45 minutes.


PS - look for the following posts soon:
return of 100 facts, Saturday update on day care situation, and excerpts from letter to old day care saying we quit (in which I pull out the PhD card), thoughts on teaching (which starts in 4 days)

It has been two days with no updates, I know you are dying to know what's been happening.

Ok, so the director called us back today (after talking to her boss) She said The Kid can stay in his current room until Jan but she doesn't recommend it (sure she has a PhD, but ahem, so do I but she doesn't know my kid and she doesn't have kids of her own so I request she keep her completely useless opinions to herself) So I guess the space fairy added space to Room F (the good room to which MeanKid was added) and to his current room, as both were absolutely filled to fire code when we met last week. Anyway, we are going to tell them no thanks (or more accurately, we are going to tell them that the director is a liar [or incompetent, take your pick] and we don't believe they have the best interest of our kid in mind. This presents worry #1 - that they will try to charge us something. Good luck. I can't find our contract anywhere but I do not remember it saying anything about a cancellation policy, maybe it does but I believe SHE violated the contract by lying to us. So take me to court because there is no other way I am paying. No possible way.

We visited the Super 8 - The Kid had fun but The Husband confirmed what I already knew - that he might be ok there but he's not going to become a genius (like his mother). The kids at Super 8 just seem bored, not neglected or abused, just plain bored and I don't like that.

We also visited Neighbor's Day Care (NDC) and let me tell you, I LOVED it. Too bad we didn't know about that when we moved. It was great. The owner quit her job as a teacher and opened a day care for her son because she hated all the ones they had visited/attended (sounds like my sister) They have a waiting list until (hopefully) Jan. This presents worry # 2 - that there will not be a spot Jan 1 and I will be completely screwed. That is job search time and if I want a job (and I do) I can't say "oh, sorry we don't have day care that day, can I come next week?"

We then called PrettyGoodAssistant Teacher (PGAT) to tell her to quit tomorrow and come on over. This presents worry #3 - that she'll get a raise to stay with lying director and we will be crying over our punch.

The plan (at 6:09 Monday) is to have PGAT watch The Kid here until Jan 1, then if she goes back to school or if it is not working out, go to NDC. The back up plan is Super 8 only when necessary which means I will effectively stay home alot except when necessary (which could very well make me completely insane and/or a drunk and/or unable to get a faculty position because I won't be able to think about anything other than Elmo)*

*ok, so I promise not to become a drunk, but I make no promises about my sanity

Please Please Please let this work out

This one is making the rounds and I rather like the idea, so here you go.

Go here and click through random quotations until you find 5 (or 6) that describe you.

To be one's self, and unafraid whether right or wrong, is more admirable than the easy cowardice of surrender to conformity. - Irving Wallace

There is one piece of advice, in a life of study, which I think no one will object to; and that is, every now and then to be completely idle - to do nothing at all. - Sydney Smith

A great obstacle to happiness is the expectation of too great a happiness. - Fontenelle

If you don't want anyone to know, don't do it. - Chinese Proverb

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

You have to let people challenge your ideas. - Tom Kasten

[update - She mentioned in passing that she was thinking of going back to school in Jan. We figured she meant around here or part time or at night, but we figured wrong. We just called to clarify and she is hoping to go away to college in Jan. So this sucks. I guess we (well, TheHusband, I just can't think about this anymore) decided we'll stick with her until then. I don't know, it makes me very nervous. I'll be on the job market and I *should* be very busy interviewing next semester so we absolutely cannot afford to have no daycare. Literally, or I won't get a job and then we'll be homeless next year. Why can't life just be easy for a few days.]

We visited with PrettyGoodAssistantTeacher and her mom today. I think mom just wanted to make sure we were decent people, not trying to take advantage of her daughter or anything crazy (what kind of people give their babysitter paid vacation?) She is only 19 but has been at our day care center (by the way they are always called early childhood education centers and saying day care is an insult, but whatever) for almost a year. She is sort of shy and soft spoken but TheKid likes her very much and so do I. She sounds intelligent, she is definitley well-mannered, and I know she will do whatever we ask. We plan to set up "lesson plans" like he would have in a school setting so they'll have craft projects, songs, games, etc related to a theme. We also hope to send them on a field trip (either I'll drop them off or they'll take the bus) once a week or once every two weeks. It will alleviate the boredom for both parties, hopefully.

So, she said yes and we said yes. But we thought that before finalizing anything, we should give ourselves a day to think about any potential problems or lingering questions. Got any? I asked my sister (a former child care educator and a stay-at-home-mom), she can't think of anything. I called FriendWithKids but she didn't answer (& has no voicemail, apparently?)

Monday she will go to work and give them one week's notice. The director's boss is scheduled to call us Monday and provide a solution to our situation but we will tell her that given everything that has happened, we no longer feel like they operate with the best interest of our kid in mind. We love many of the teachers there but the director can not be trusted with our kid (the favoritism issue or whatever it is will only be made worse by us going to her boss) So thanks for your help but we are staying away as long as director is in charge.

Hopefully. [if not I'm surely to blame, The Husband will say, for posting this and jinxing everything] So, hopefully.

So, we visited (interviewed?) PrettyGoodAssistantTeacher today (not Excellent Teacher Assistant - turns out she needs to make a whole lot more than we can pay her and she feels bad about quitting after she just told them she'd stay - note to all child care workers: they pay you $7/hr for extremely hard work, you owe them nothing but a reasonable notice that you are leaving. Anyway, this is all beside the pont.) She (age 19) lives at home with her mom. Her mother is very well spoken and I like her a whole bunch. PGAT's mom offered me a glass of water and I accepted. TheKid took a drink and said "mmmm, beer" Nice. I'm sure PGAT and her mom think we are some kind of drunks now. For the record, I do not drink beer (I do drink wine, margharitas, mimosas, shots, rum & coke, hot sake, etc but I do not drink beer.) Earlier this week we went to a baseball game and TheKid saw the beer guy and staring crying "want beer, want more beer!"

This is the song I've been singing all day after I found out that one of my articles is the lead article for Special Issue. MyVeryFavoriteManuscript is the 2nd article. I believe (for absolutely no substantial reason) that order of articles means something. I guess I've seen CVs that say [lead article] next to a title, but that is really the only reason. I've been trying to google it all morning and I can find absolutely no proof that order means anything. Nevertheless I am celebrating the fact that my article is first (& second though I really don't believe that second means anything it surely does emphasize that I have 2.) I asked good friend (who is going up for tenure early, yah for him) and he also believes in this myth. He says "I think it means the Editor considers the lead article to be the best in the issue" so I'm celebrating because I am a genius, genius, genius.

We've called the director's boss twice this week. I finally talked to her today. (Turns out she is at a the center's day camp this entire week, but called us from camp.) I explained the entire situation (in the shortest way humanly possible - much shorter than my post here!) She was very nice and seemed to understand everything I said. I was very reasonable - I tried to emphasize that I'm most upset about the lack of communication ("either no one knows what is going on here or someone is outright lying to me" I said) but I fully understand that state laws and fire code limit the number of students in each room and I'm not asking to violate any of these restrictions. She asked whether we'd prefer to stay in CurrentTeacher'sRoom or move and I said I just want him to be with people he knows or have sufficient time to transition and most of all I want to be informed and free to participate in the decision making for my kid. She asked if we'd like TheKid stay in CurrentTeacher's Room until he is 2 then transition (the same exact plan I already suggested to director, maybe that is why I like director's boss - she seems capable of clear and reasonable thinking) Anyway, she asked that we give her until Monday afternoon to find out all the facts and evaluate the situation and "hopefully this will be easily solved Monday afternoon" she said. (hahaha yea right EvilApparently laughs)

On the other hand, ExcellentAssistantTeacher in The Kid's current room is coming over tomorrow to discuss the possibility of quitting the center and working for us full time. We figured out that we can either pay $7.15 for 35 hrs (best) or $8 .15 for 30 hrs (less desirable for us but we can deal with 30 hrs) and we were worried that wasn't enough. We were trying to think of other perks like paid vacation & taking her home (she rides the bus) Then we found out that they* make $6.25/hr - can you believe that $6.25 to care for, teach, feed, and love a bunch of kids!

Dream of all dreams - wouldn't it be super fabulous if on Monday we had to decide between EAT and Room F? What would we do? I lean toward EAT, Husband leans toward Room F. I have a strong suspicion that the world will decide for us.

* We called another person who occassionally babysits for us and who used to work at the center - she said she made $6.25 so it is possible (but unlikely I think) that EAT (hmmm, rethinking that pseudonym) makes more or less than that.

The Husband talked to the head of the infant room. Real director is in hiding, I mean attending a conference. InfantRoomLady says that MeanKids parents requested Room F a long long time ago. It was a mistake made during schedulig and was corrected. The Husband asked if someone had to get bumped because the room was full. InfantRoomLady said no, there was an open spot.

I don't believe any of it. RunningMom told me that MeanKid's mom asked her what room JoggingBaby was in because MeanKid was all alone. That does not tranlate into sending a letter a long time ago. Now, I appreciate that are all paraphrasing, so suppose this story is true. Fine. This just adds to the list of lies evil director has told us because she explicitly said that MeanKid was in our original Room C and so it was our choice that TheKid is now all alone in Room B.

Either way, we are out of there with a wave and a "FU"! I already lost my credit card so the number is now changed and UrbanMythSchool cannot automatically charge me tuition.

If you don't have kids you probably think I am a raving maniac based on my last post. I totally understand. I'm 210% sure that if someone told me this story 3 or 4 years ago I would think something like "poor crazy lady, he's a kid, he'll be fine, please shut up and deal with it"
That is a fair response. He will be fine. Kids are extremely resilient - I know that (from the perspective of a researcher and a mother and a person with common sense.) At this point it is not about The Kid. It is about the director and the fact that I (well, I won't say again what I think about her) Just so you don't think I am too crazy.

I am so unbearably furious right now that I can barely type, talk, or think straight!

So, we received a phone call Tuesday saying The Kid could move from Room C to Room B. (Recall that we didn't like Room C teachers but another kid from The Kid's current room was to move into Room C, lets call him MeanKid well, because he is. Also recall that Room B was only acceptable but not our preference) Then we found out that NO other kids from his current class are going to Room B. We told her we were not happy about this. We are also not happy that he is moving already, we are not exactly sure that is best, especially since he is scheduled to go to a room with ALL new people with little transition time. We offered a reasonable solution - to stay in his current room until he turns 2 and then move to Room F if there was space (with the rest of his current classmates) or we'd take Room B if we had to.

She called a meeting. We went. She said Room F (& Room D) are filled to state capacity (apparently, the state requires X sq ft per kid), so it is an issue of fire code. Ditto on our current room. So basically she can do absolutely nothing for us. I cry. I'm not a crier. I don't cry when I read books, I don't cry when I watch Intervention, I usually get angry and mean. But here, I cry. Ok, so we are in Room B. The Kid will be fine. I know that children are amazingly flexible. I'm not happy but RationalApparently knows that things will be fine (MommyApparently is too busy crying to think straight.)

[semi-unrelated fact that you might not care about: the "policy" according to director is that all kids with a birthday up to & including oct move in aug. The Kid was born Oct 29. director said they decide on an individual basis for borderline (birthday, not personality) kids. Who is "they"? DoctorsKid was born Nov 4 and he is staying in current room). So we ask where is this policy written down so that we, as parents and people who should be included in "they" might know about this policy. It is not written down anywhere. Convenient.]

When we leave director's office, we hear CurrentTeacher saying to her colleagues "TheKid is supposed to go to Room B" .... (stuff we can't hear)...."I feel so bad for him"

So I cry. Actually I didn't really starting crying until I heard that. I was successfully holding back while in meeting with director.

The next day (Wed) we found out that she felt bad becausee Room B Teacher is on vacation this week. Yes, vacation. So there is NO transition time at all. We specifically asked director if he was visiting Room B Teacher this week and she said yes. We asked what the exact schedule was and she said she didn't know - the teachers organized that themselves. The Husband called director and left an angry message saying this was unacceptable and she better find a solution. He also called her boss and left a message saying the same thing. We decided to try to find a new day care. We called several places and set up a visit for one that same day. This entire paragraph happened before 9am.

I visited the new daycare, Super8. We've visited this place at least 2 times before. The problem is that our daycare is a Hilton - big gym, big pool, big outside playground (in the city!), etc. This is because it is part of a larger center, so all of these things actually belong to the center not just our daycare. Anyway, it is hard to want to send your kid to the Super8 when he is in the Hilton. Even if the manager is a complete total lying bitch. I was upset all day Wed, which meant I got a ton of work done. I didn't dare stop for a minute or I might burst into a fit of tears or despair or rage.

Director called during the day to say that Room B teacher is on vacation but will come in just to transition TheKid. When we pick him up, we find out that Room B teacher did visit and talk to him for 10 minutes. Nice fucking transition plan (director) you dirty little lying spineless bitch-ass whore. Sorry. Very sorry dear readers, was building up, must let out steam. (might edit later, too angry now)

Last night another mom, RunningMom, from the current room sent an email asking if we'd contribute to a gift for current teachers. And then asked if TheKid was moving rooms.

So I decide to tell her the whole situation and that we might leave all together.
This morning I get up, read my email as usual and see an email from RunningMom. She tells me that MeanKid 's parents found out that he was to be in a room alone with no kids from his current class (we of course know this because we skipped out of that room). They were angry and MeanKid is now in Room F with the rest of his classmates. I almost completely lose my mind when I read this. I paced all around the house & outside. I literally pulled out some of my hair. I swore. I cried. I called my sister. I called directors office to leave threatening messages but then hung up (thank you RationalApparently) We knew MeanKid would be alone BEFORE MeanKid's parents knew because we were the cause. So how exactly did MeanKid move to Room F? Did the SpaceFairies come add square footage to Room F last night? Doubt it. I am freaking out again as I write this. I very nearly walked up to day care and made a scene. I just might.

Oh, and the director is "at a conference" until next Wed. Suspicuously convenient, huh? (otherwise, I'd be there right now or maybe in jail already, who knows?)

What are we going to do about it? We already (before I read RunningMom's email) called the two assistants in TheKids current room and asked if they were interested in quitting and coming to work for us. One said she is!!! But we have to talk about money, of course. The problem is that we cannot really afford to pay more than we already pay for daycare which is $11,000/yr. That translates to about $5.25 per hour at 52 wks and 40 hours/wk. We cannot pay someone only $5 to care for our kid and (hopefully) she makes more than that at the daycare. We can definitley use less than 40 hr and less than 52 wks I already decided earlier this morning. After RunningMom's email I decided we are hiring her, I don't care if we have to pay $22,000 a year (and therefore have no down payment on a house that we will buy when I get a job next year and have no savings account, who needs a house anyway?) I hate this director and I hate this day care and I will do everything I can to: 1) get director fired and 2) steal a very excellent employee 3) prevent any other people from going to this daycare (which EVERYONE believes to be one of the best in the city - damn urban legends)

I feel slightly better now. Must work, meet with teaching mentor is a few hours and have made littlel progress since our last meeting in mid-July.

[ Post-doc, wanna move here? Sounds like you'd be an excellent babysitter (or whatever the proper word is these days). We have an extra bedroom.]

The beginning of the school year is awful. I had my first nightmare (in which I forgot to attend 2^nd class) of the season. The anxiousness of the first class is really coming to life and the inability to get several things done because of the flood is only adding to my panic. There is no daycare next week (the last week before classes start) so this week is my last big push to get everything done (Goal: complete all lectures, homeworks, exams, etc up to the 2^nd exam which is about the midpoint of the semester.)

We received the package for The Kid’s upcoming school year. There are 4 possible 2-yr old rooms. We visited them and determined that Room C was unacceptable. Room D & F were good and Room B was acceptable. We were assigned Room C. Now, I feel slightly responsible because I haven’t yet told the director that I don’t want to be in Room C. Why, you ask? Well, when we visited the big kid rooms I asked the director when The Kid would move up because many of the kids in Room D & B were much older (toward the 3-4 range) and so I was confused. She said (not surprisingly) that the decision is based on availability and the individual child. She also said that The Kid would likely move up when he was 2. And, of all the kids in his group, he is close to the youngest and none of them have moved yet so I figured I have lots of time. So I am writing this long winded explanation to justify why I haven’t told her that we object to Room C. In essence, I think it is her fault for not being clear about when he is moving and for being quite bitchy (therefore I really don’t want to have to deal with her and I keep putting it off – to be fair she just comes across as bitchy until I demonstrate that my bitchiness skills are far superior than hers and then she is quite nice. The problem is that using my bitch power requires a lot of effort and wears me out and I can’t really afford to use that much energy until after my course is prepped, or at least that was the plan until we received the letter.)

Alas, the story continues. When The Husband dropped off The Kid at school today, he talked to the current teachers and found out that there is no plan for transition. They are just going to drop off the kids in their newly assigned rooms on the first day of school. What? Seriously, WTF? These kids are not even 2 yet, you can’t just deposit them in a room with a bunch of unknown adults. Whose plan is this? Hello? Then, The Husband talked to another parent (or 2) and they said they would only be in Room D and refused to be in any other room because they heard horror stories. They also said they’d take Room C before Rooms B&F based on these horror stories. Now, the thing is that I can understand how one person’s horror story is another person’s minor inconvenience and how things might get blown out of proportion. But this just freaks me out. The Husband’s plan is to demand Room D and demand that The Kid get slowly transitioned to the new room. All of this makes me worry, worry, worry. And I can’t get any work done (see parargraph 1) because I am waiting for worker bitch to call me so I can bring out queen bitch. Queen Bitch is very stressed today!

Things are approaching normal after our little flood. Nearly everyone else has moved to the 4^th floor. My office and a few nearby offices do not require complete replacement, so we are staying in the basement. At first I thought this was great. I hate moving and the thought of packing all the papers on my desk and then replacing them in the nice neat piles made me ill (for unknown reasons, all of our filing cabinets are only 2 drawers so I have a total of 4 filing cabinets but enough papers to fill at least 8) However, we’ve now found out that several walls have to be torn out and replaced, all kinds of insulation is being removed replaced (creating tons of dust), and the whole area is a complete disgusting disaster. I don’t want to be down here in this mess. The printers and copy machine need to be replaced, but I don’t know when that will happen. This could not possibly come at a worse time – I have to get stuff ready for my class and it is close to impossible without printing devices.

We have internet at home again which is nice, but we don’t have a wireless router (yet) and have only one (incredibly inconvenient) location where we can sit and use the internet. Anyway, I’m back to regularly scheduled blogging.

We went to see a NFL football game this weekend. When their team scores, they sing a song and 2 guys on the field run around waving a big flag. It is so high school (or maybe college-basketball-esque.) I really hated it and I’m embarrassed for that team and their fans. Football is supposed to be burly big men talking trash and throwing each other to the ground, not singing songs to a marching band tune.

I’ve met with my teaching mentor twice and we meet again Thursday. I’ve got to prep more before then but I can’t get my head into it today (see next post for reasons why).

My office building flooded Saturday. I guess this is my #12. I heard a snippet on the radio that said something like "Hundreds researchers affected by a water main break at Isolation U" I did not realize until I arrived Monday that I was in fact one of those researchers. I'm actually in only 1 of 3 offices that received little damage - wet carpet but not enough to require mold removal, new carpet, baseboards, paint, etc (several other offices had a couple inches of water). Giant fans have been blowing since Saturday (I'm sitting in front of one right now, it feels kind of nice) The good news is that I (as of this morning at least) don't have to move my entire office. Everyone else (except my immediate neighbor) has already boxed up everything and is waiting to find out exactly where they are moving. The conference room is full of computers, neatly labeled waiting to be inspected and moved the temporary offices. I feel guilty sitting here working while others pack. I can't actually get anything done anyway - construction workers are coming and going. Colleagues are always coming by with updates. Yesterday we had 3 meetings. I would just stay home but we don't have internet yet (maybe this is my stolen wireless karma biting me in the ass), so I have to come in for an hour or so to meet deadlines and check email. No one seems to have answers to even the most basic of questions. I can only imagine the utter desperation and chaos during a real flood like Katrina.

edited again #10, 11 added
edited (already) #9 added

The crap that has filled my day (so far) . . .

1. Neighbors are moving tomorrow (apparently, they packed their computer this morning) - no more stolen wireless. Uh-oh. Thought they weren't moving until the end of the month. Limited blogging ahead.

2. GradStudent's advisor sucks. This deserves a full post. Short version - He is an expert in Method C - I use Method B and I previously hated Method C because it was sexy but uninformative (the worst possible combination). I changed my mind and started a project with GradStudent and Dr. Sucky. Dr Sucky doesn't know how to analyze data, as it turns out. He knows how to press a few buttons but if the plan is to do something slightly different - say push those buttons in a different order - then the world comes to a stop. My world (at least my Method C world) is at a complete stop. And I can't do anything about it. Was planning on including this in my job talk.

3. I have to teach in 22 days and I have exactly 1 class prepared. Excellent.

4. Review is more than 2 weeks late.

5. Final revisions of MVFM are due today, will not happen.

6. The Husband is feeling neglected and I've been mean so I have to stop working early and go out with him tonite. Pretty sure I'm going to be as fun as a can of asparagus because I am so stressed at the moment.

7. The Sister is married to Mr. AllThingsBad (couldn't quite narrow his faults to a single pseudonym, sorry). Talked to her this morning and it is clear that things are pretty awful again.

8. The Kid was bit again at pre-school, this is the 6th (or maybe we are at 7 now) time in 8 months. I'm starting to get angry. I appreciate that kids bite - my own kid has bitten me more than once, but come on there has to be a solution here. Dear Parents of Mr. Biter - figure it out!

9. Cuke, tomato, onion, olive oil, lemon juice salad spilled all over bag. Phone, wallet, thumb drive, bag, etc now smell.

10. Hospital Dr. told me to take double the medication I used to take, since this. But I haven't had time to see Regular Dr to officially have my prescription changed. Now I am out of meds and the pharmacy will not fill it because my insurance says it is too soon (and I suppose this is true given that I'm taking double) But why didn't Hospital Dr. just write me a new script? Now I have to call Regular Dr, he'll probably make me come in and I just don't want to deal with this right now.

11. I should have added this earlier - crazy lady driver completely ran a stop sign today and nearly killed us. If I was driving, I probably wouldn't be writing this right now but The Husband has excellent reflexes (seriously, he could be a ... well whatever requires fast reflexes) She was on the phone, of course.

12. TBD (its only noon)

Awkward Situations

Men shake hands when they part. Men don’t know what to do with women - sometimes they shake hands, often there is no physical contact, and then sometimes they hug. At every conference I attend, I find myself in these awkward situations where I don’t know what to expect. I’m not a huge fan of the hand shake, so I don’t mind being left out. I’d just like to know what to expect.

Infidelity

I certainly hope non-conference- attendees are more faithful to their counterparts than conference-attendees. This time I admit I was particularly shocked. Ah, but it is not a conference without witnessing some form of infidelity.

Just Say No

Why oh why do I keep agreeing to review papers? I’m over 2 weeks late for one and I have to prep a class in the next 26 days. I should start saying “I’m sorry but I’ll have to pass – I’m very busy with my own research at the moment”

Water Landing

Why do they say this during the safety routine on a plane: “In the event of a water landing…” As far as I know commercial passenger airlines cannot convert into a boat and land in water.

I’m at a conference (again) - by myself this time. Things I’ve learned:

• Turns out The Kid and The Husband miss me. The Kid has a clear and unquestionable preference for The Husband. I don’t exactly like this but I suppose it is understandable (as grad school friend likes to point out – “who doesn’t?”) So, I guess I’m happy about this new knowledge. Since I’ve been gone, The Husband is all stressed out about money, my mother, and Intervention. The Kid won’t sleep and apparently, cries for me or at least appears to request my presence.

• It’s a small world after all. It’s a small world after all. It’s a small, small world. I happened to discover the identity of a blogger. I should point out that I only read about 10-15 blogs regularly and I only discovered this addictive hobby in March 2006. So, this discovery was quite a surprise (especially given that it happened so quickly).

• Even though I am old, married, and a mother I can still rock. I closed the bars with other grad school friend our first night here – not sure I’ve recovered yet.

• I can promote myself when I want to (apparently), I’ve practiced a whole bunch this week. Someone will hire me.

• One airline charges $2 for a blanket and pillow. They keep the onboard air temperature at about 60 but I refuse to give in – I’ll freeze to death before I pay for an airline pillow or blanket.

• I can eat sushi everyday.

• I'm applying for at least one grant this year.